The End of Mad as Hell

You may have noticed that the two Mad as Hell vlogs I've made so far have been deleted. This is because I've come to this slow but obvious-to-everyone-but-me realization: they were not funny, entertaining, or informative, and in the end they did more harm than good. I knew from the beginning that many people would find it insulting or take it personally, which is why I tried posting those disclaimers. It didn't help.

As previously and repeated stated, the Mad as Hell rants were not edited or crafted in any way. They were simply vlogs of my uncensored streams of angry consciousness. What I should've known was, that is not a good thing. They accomplished nothing aside from making me look like a colossal ass. Just because I didn't actually mean many of the gross generalizations and offensive things I said doesn't not mean it was OK for me to say them, disclaimer or no.

With that in mind, I am retiring the Mad as Hell segments, at least for now. I'm not ruling out the possibility of bringing it back one day, but if I do, it will be planned out and edited. In the mean time, I'd like to formally apologize to anyone who was hurt or offended by anything I've said. It was not intentional, and I hope no one wrote me off as an insensitive dick over this. With that let's put this embarrassing fiasco behind us and never speak of it again. Ever.

Mad as Hell: Ignorant Audiences

Just blowing off some steam about some things that really piss me off about the average theater goer today. Sorry for the background noise, the air conditioning's really noisy.

WARNING: This is an uncut, bitter rant recorded in the heat of the moment. Therefore it can get very personal and tactless. So unless your very thick-skinned you may be offended by some of what is said.

Mad as Hell: Oscar Season

I hate Oscar season. I really do. It's where the tyrannical grip of Hollywood is most present. Theatres are flooded with pretentious Oscar bait, and dozens of films are instantly labelled "the best films of the year" before they've even come out. And, like them or not, if you fail to recognize these films as flawless masterpieces, you'll be cast out like a rabid animal. I'm not saying all Oscar season films are bad, but close-minded critic gab can sour anything.

Just this year, we had, for example, The Wrestler. Best film of the year, right? WRONG!!! There's a reason I left it out of my top ten, people, and it not because I didn't see it; I just didn't like it. Don't get me wrong, the acting was great, there's no disputing that (of course Mickey Roarke is always great. Why else would I have watched Stormbreaker?) But here's the thing: the film bored me out of my gorram skull. I really can't stand it when people defend a movie by saying it was "realistic". When did that become a good thing in cinema? Aren't movies supposed to be escapism? Y'know, getting away from reality. I not saying realism is always a bad thing, but when it's all your film has going for it, it sure as hell is. One of my favorite quotes of all time (as to who said it, I've got no clue, but he's a fraking genius) is "reality is a poor excuse for bad drama". If a film isn't engaging, entertaining, or thought-provoking it's crap. Period. And The Wrestler was none of these things. The documentary style camerawork may have made it seem realistic to some people, but too me it made it feel like some bad reality show. And I wasn't exactly expecting a sunshine-and-lollipops ending, this is Darren Aronofsky after all. But I was, in fact, expecting an ending of some kind. The film had no ending, it just suddenly stopped. It never resolved any plot points or character arcs, it just went to credits.

But my point is not that The Wrestler sucked. My point is that most of you by this point have already written your hate comments, or at least written me of as a trolling hate-monger who just doesn't appreciate good films. And half of you thinking that haven't even seen The Wrestler. You just believe what your told without question, no actual knowledge required, and it makes me mad as hell.

I could go on about this, but as it turns out, Robert Fure over on Film School Rejects has it covered much better than I ever could. Not that I agree 100% with him (The Dark Knight is not overrated!! The Batman shrine in my basement proves nothing!!!) but still, this dude knows what's up. So I leave you in his capable hands:

Boiling Point: Everything is Overrated

What about you? Do you think Oscar acclaim makes people close-minded?

Mad as Hell: V for Vendetta for Real

One of my favorite graphic novels is Alan Moore's V for Vendetta. It echoed all the frustration many must be feeling during the slow destruction of democracy in the UK. Alan Moore, who lived in Great Britain, wrote a compelling story that unfortunately bear an eerie resemblance to reality. It's seems they take another step toward socialism everyday. They banned guns. The violent crime rate went up. They rig traffic cams to monitor drivers like they were children. But surely they wouldn't resort to censorship, would they? Oh wait, yes they would.

Most of you remember the action film Wanted, which was released in theatres a few months ago. According to a recent news article, Britain's Advertising Standards Authority has banned several promotional posters from use in the UK, after receiving complaints that the posters glamorized firearms and violence. No duh.

Anyone else wish V would show up right about now? How many angry voices do you suppose it took to ward such censorship. Hundreds? Thousands, even? Nope. According to the article, only 17 complaint were filed concerning the posters. Yeah, you heard write. Count 'em, 17. Who mostly likely all can from the same snooty circle.

Just in case your not already shocked, let me give you an idea of how amazingly small that number is. The population of England (not including the rest of the UK) is roughly 50,762,900 people. Now, 17 is what percent of that? Hold on a sec, I need a bigger calculator. Man, I hate math.......OK, got it. 0.000033%. That's less than zero percent. So it's not exaggerating to say that literally nobody is offended by these posters.

So apparently is takes literally nothing to get something censored. Imagine if this had been applied to the recent Tropic Thunder controversy. The film would have never seen the light of day. They had hundreds of people complaining, when apparently it only takes seven-freaking-teen. Once again we have PC tyranny at it's worst. How can art and free expression prosper in a world where any overly sensitive whiner can shoot it down at will? It makes me mad as hell.

Just in case you haven't seen them, here's a few of the banned images:

Source: Yahoo News

Mad as Hell: Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer

You don't need me to tell you who Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer are. You know who they are, and what they've done. And, assuming you're with the general consensus, you hate their guts. You know their movies, or know of them, the latest of which, Disaster Movie, was released today. Their colossally bad comedy films (and I use the term "comedy films" very loosely), have, if nothing else become the standard for bad movies. We movie communities use it as a running joke, often fake-threatening each other with it: "I'll tie you down and make you watch Meet the Spartans!" Yet they keep coming. And we continue to watch them, even if only to make fun of them. After which we vomit and curse for a little while, then have a good laugh at the filmmaker's expense. But there's a deeper problem with this scenario you may not be seeing: the laugh's not on the filmmaker's, it's on you. You're the victim here, don't kid yourself.

Think about this. Disaster Movie is the fourth movie to be released by these hacks in the past three years. Four movies in three years. Two just this year. Despite the overwhelmingly negative response to their every creation, Friedberg & Seltzer continue of to shovel crapload after crapload down our collective throat. Why is this anything more this than a major irritation. Because this is not simply poor filmmaking, this is a personal insult to the audience. Hollywood has proved once and for all that they care nothing for their viewers, just the almighty dollar. Look at Disaster Movie (if you can stomach it), and see how little Hollywood truly thinks of us. The film industry has become totally disenfranchised from their consumers. What you want doesn't matter anymore, only what you're willing to pay settle for. And unfortunately, there apparently are those desperate enough to turn to Friedberg & Seltzer for a witless laugh.

If Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer aren't the very definition of Hollywood tyrants, I don't know what is. Obviously I respect the rights of these men to put whatever they so desire into their so-called "films", it's a free country (or so I'm told). But these men have been given an amazing opportunity, one many of us would kill for, and they have completely and utterly squandered it. They have abused their priviledges as much as humanly possible. These aren't filmmakers, they are serial rapists. They have taken a beautiful art form and repeatedly defiled it. They have repeated twisted and corrupted it until it is nothing but a repulsive mockery of it's former self. What truly angers me, however, is the fact that these men are given the exposure and backing of major films. You go to the major websites, Yahoo, MySpace, IMDB, and the pop-ups advertising the film fill the screen.

Why is Hollywood forcing this upon us? Why are we forced to endure what we so clearly don't want? Because Hollywood just doesn't care. They don't listen to us because they don't have too. They make money off it, so they keep making it. Hollywood hardly ever releases anything that hasn't been proven to be profitable in the past, because they aren't willing to take chances with their money. Take The Dark Knight for example. Obviously it was an incredible film, at the complete opposite end of the spectrum as Disaster Movie. But the only reason it was greenlit it was that is was a proven character with a proven cast and director. Imagine if The Dark Knight had consisted completely of unknowns. Imagine if Nolan and the cast were talented but no name filmmakers, and Batman was an entirely new character. Had that been the case, The Dark Knight would have never seen the light of day (pardon the pun). Unfortunately, as talentless as Friedberg and Seltzer are, they make money, simply because they have resources, and it makes me mad as hell.