My Top 10 Films of 2012

Well, here we are. No sooner have I finished ranting against the entire concept of needlessly ranking vastly different movies into inherently devaluing lists, and I'm already contradicting myself in the name of conformity. Ah well, the more things change, eh?

Fortunately there's still a part of me that loves making lists in spite of my own musings. It's fun to collect and connect things you love, and the inevitably absurd arguments over insignificant details like the numbering have their own charm within reason. I suppose I could avoid all that and make a "Top 10 Movies of 2012 In No Particular Order", but that would ruin the inexplicable glee I get from sorting them based on arbitrary criteria (and no, I won't tell you what criteria).

So here we go...

Top 15 Batman: The Brave & the Bold episodes

A few months ago one of my favorite cartoons of the last decade aired its very last episode. Batman: The Brave and the Bold was the best small screen adaption of everybody's favorite Caped Crusader since Batman: The Animated Series, in that they were both extraordinary good at being what they were trying to be, even if they were trying to be very different things. BTAS, which introduced what must constitute at least half the fanbase by now to the character, drew most of it inspiration from Bronze Age Batman, the era of Dennis O'neil and Neal Adams. BTBATB, on the other hand, is clearly a product of the Silver Age and the works of Dick Sprang. Wildly creative and oftentimes hilarious, this show was the very definition of Saturday morning fun done well. So as a demonstration of my love for this show, I've decided to memorialize it with a list of my top fifteen favorite episodes (because I couldn't bring myself to trim it down to ten).

Anarchy at the Movies: Top 10 Best Films of 2011

Josh finally lists his top 10 movies of 2011.

Megavlog 1/31/10: Top 10 Films of 2009

It's that time again! Pickin's was slim this year, but here's my list of the top ten best films of the year of 2009! (and yes, I got a haircut)



Check below the cut for the list.

10. Ink





9. Watchmen



8. Zombieland



7. Moon



6. Crank: High Voltage



5. (500) Days of Summer



4. Up in the Air



3. Where the Wild Things Are



2. Up



1. Inglourious Basterds

My Top 10 Films of 2008

Joshua the Anarchist presents his list for the top 10 films of 2008.

Top 10 Anticipated Films of 2009

Just a quick disclaimer: No one voted on this. This is not based on any public consensus, it is purely my opinion. It's my opinion that you guys should stop focusing on the big Hollywood blockbusters, and really look at the upcoming lineup, look for those potential hidden gems. So if your offended not to see films like Harry Potter 6 and Transformers 2 on the list, get over it. And now without further ado, the list:

10. Black Dynamite

This looks like everything Grindhouse should have been. That Tarantino/Rodriguez project was an admirable experiment, but somehow it never clicked, at least with me. Maybe it's because i never liked zombies films or slasher flicks. I'm more of an action guy. And in the way of stupid grindhouse action movies, this looks like a dream come true.

9. Monsters vs. Aliens

Basically the 50-Foot Woman, the Blob, the Fly, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Mothra team up to fight aliens. Does it get much more awesome that that? Dreamworks animation has had their share of bad movies, but with Kung Fu Panda, they proved that they are capable of great things.

8. Give 'Em Hell, Malone

Thomas Jane is so underrated. He's a great actor, one of my personal favorites. And he shines his best in the action genre, at least that's my experience. Plus the fact that, with Clint Eastwood retired, this is pretty much the closest we'll get to another Dirty Harry film. Sure it looks a little under-funded, but that can often be a plus.

7. Terminator Salvation

Can James Cameron's shoes be refilled again? Well, the PG-13 rating and a lackluster television spin off initially suggested no. But Live Free or Die Hard worked out fine, and the trailers look very promising. Besides, how can you go wrong with Christian Bale? Of course, his last post-apocalyptic film was the less-than-stellar Reign of Fire, but still.

6. Rambo V

Now I admit that this seems like a bad idea. John Rambo's last battle felt like a perfect conclusion to the series. One of the reasons the Rambo series is my favorite film franchise is because it hasn't been done too death...yet. Still, I can't deny a desire to see my favorite commando on the big screen. I trust Sly. You should too.

5. The Road

Viggo Mortensen. Oh, you need more? OK, how about: sunless post-apocalyptic setting, Lone Wolf and Cub-style father-son story, Reaver-type cannibals running around, and a source book written by the author of No Country for Old Men. Oh, and Charlize Theron. Got your attention now?

4. Avatar

James Cameron and science fiction go together like peanut butter and jelly. Just look what happened when he tried his hand at a period piece? I mean, sure, Titanic was they highest grossing movie of all time, but that doesn't change the fact that it turned a real human tragedy into a cliche teen soap opera. So it's nice to see the man doing what he does best.

3. Up

Pixar never fails. Sure they've stumbled a bit here and there, but have they ever had a genuine total failure? No, of course not. This film seems like a combination of Around the World in Eighty Days, and The 21 Balloons, and looks like the perfect timeless adventure epic that could possibly challenge even WALL-E.

2. The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Heath Ledger's REAL last film. Maybe not his last completed film, but his true last film, nonetheless. Not only is it basically a tribute to the late actor to allow audiences to say goodbye properly, but it looks to be an incredibly artistic, visually stunning film. Did you expect any less from Terry Gilliam?

1. Watchmen

The greatest graphic novel of all time is finally getting the cinematic treatment. No wonder the hype is so big. Fans have been speculating about this thing forever, with their reactions ranging from joy to rage. Obviously the choice of Zack Snyder to direct was a controversial one, but I have faith in him. This will either be an epic failure or an epic masterpiece, either way it's a can't-miss event.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: The Wolfman, Inglorious Basterds, Sherlock Holmes, Public Enemies, Where the Wild Things Are, The Lovely Bones, Ninja Assassin, The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, Incredible Love, 9, Franklyn, and Clint Eastwood's next project (as a director) that doesn't have a name yet.

What about you? What movies are you looking forward to this year (I mean other than Transformers 2)?

Top Ten Movie Spies

James Bond's latest adventure Quantum of Solace, is almost here (why do these titles never make sense?) While we wait this this spy spectacular, I thought it'd be fun to compile a list of my Top 10 secret agents in cinema history (with the exception of Bond, we all know he's the best).

10. Vin Diesel as Xander Cage in xXx

Yeah, I know this movie wasn't that great. What do you expect when Vin Diesel is your star? But I gotta give this movie credit for at least trying something different. They basically took ever spy cliche in the book and reversed them, kinda like Hancock did for superheroes. Instead of a suave sophisticated British guy, Xander Cage was a crude, anti-establishment American thug. Maybe it's just the anarchist in me, but I had fun with this movie.

9. David Hasselhoff as Nick Fury in Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD

I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I had to include this one, I just had too. Sure it was a lame, campy TV movie. Sure it was corny as all hell. And it was so damn awesome! This baby's one of my favorite guilty pleasures. It's sheer, explosive B-movie fun, not to mention it was written by David S. Goyer (a.k.a. the guy who wrote The Dark Knight). Forget that Sam Jackson stuff, Marvel, The Hoff is your Nick Fury.

8. Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara as Carmen & Juni Cortez in Spy Kids

Robert Rodriguez is famous (or infamous, depending on how you look at it) for making intentionally bad movies as homages to old films. But anyone who says that's all he does has forgotten Spy Kids. I'm not saying this film is a masterpiece any any means, but I will say it's one of the most visually creative children's films since Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The story may be old an cliche, but great actors combined this killer set pieces make for one wild ride.

7. Mike Myers as Austin Powers in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

The sequels may have been awful, but this first one was pretty damn funny. It's really hard to come of with an original spy spoof, since it mostly all been done before, but Mike Myers came of with the bright idea to mix with usual James Bond parody with the psychedelic vibe of the 60's. It's a bizarre, over-the-top combination, but it works, and Mike Myers performance make it knock-down-drag-out hilarious. Not to mention he gave us a near-nude Elizabeth Hurley.




6. Arnold Schwarzenegger as Harry Tasker in True Lies

Schwarzenegger may not be much of an actor, but man does the dude know how to blow stuff up! Harry Tasker acted more like Rambo than James Bond. Why settle for a pistol when you can sport an RPG? Why drive an Aston Martin why you can fly a fighter jet? And let's not forget that he made the scream queen, Jamie Lee Curtis, do a striptease.


5. Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible

I'm not the biggest Tom Cruise fan, but this movie was just too friggin' cool. So often movies based on TV shows are absolute crap. Mission: Impossible was the exception. And since the characters aren't from the series, the film stands on it's own. Sure, Ethan Hunt became just another American ripoff of James Bond in the sequels progressed, but in it was a thrilling suicide mission story, with a great twist ending to boot.


4. Cary Grant as T. R. Devlin in Notorious

Though not really a spy film, this movie was amazing, and my personal favorite of Alfred Hitchcock's works. Cary Grant is perfect in this movie, as was his adversary, the always excellent Claude Rains. Though Devlin may not actually fight anybody, you know he could kick your ass any minute. Besides, James Bond never nailed a woman like Ingrid Bergman.

3. Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan in Patriot Games

Alec Baldwin may have been the first Jack Ryan, but Harrison Ford was definitely the best. As if being Han Solo and Indiana Jones wasn't enough, he had to go and become a super spy too. Going up against the always sinister Sean Bean, Ford proved once again why is is one of the greatest action stars ever. Add James Earl Jones and Samuel L. Jackson too the mix, and you've got one badass spy thriller.

2. Matt Damon as Jason Bourne in The Bourne Identity

Though I do think the Bourne films are a tad overrated, Jason Bourne is still very cool. The first film especially was very smart and well-made espionage thriller/mystery. Aside from the whole brainwashing thing, Jason Bourne is one of the most realistic spies on film. He doesn't have a laser in his watch or a submersible car, no Q to supply his every need, just his own skills and resourcefulness.


1. Clint Eastwood as Frank Horrigan in In the Line of Fire

Why? Two reasons: 1. Nobody was expecting this choice, and 2. it's Clint @#$%ing Eastwood! Even at the rip old age of 63 this guy still kicked ass, and bedded Rene Russo. Playing a Secret Service agent out to protect the President for a psychopath, Clint Eastwood never had too face a foe as insane as John Malchovich before this. Though I gotta wonder why he'd wanna risk his life for a politician?

Honorable Mention: Don Adams as Maxwell Smart in Get Smart, Again!

The reason I'm only giving this an honorable mention is because the actual TV movie wasn't very good, just a rehash of old jokes ans plots for the TV series. But Get Smart was one of my favorite TV shows of all time, and I just had to mention it. The series wasn't the greatest spoof ever, but it's one of my favorite Mel Brooks creations, and Don Adams made the lamest jokes hilarious. And no, I didn't consider give the new Get Smart movie a spot on the list, it was dreck. It disrespected and ignored everything that made the show good. May Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway rot in hell for their basterdization of those characters.

Bonus: A special no-prize too the first person to tell me how many times I used the name "James Bond" in this blog without looking back.