Saturday, February 7, 2009

The New Nick Fury

Well, Sam Jackson's out. Even if he still wants the role, he's out it my mind. Yeah, I know that sounds like fanboy blasphemy, but hey, that's why they call me the Anarchist. Maybe it's just me, but I've always had a certain philosophy when it comes to casting: the character is more important than they actor (feel free to quote me). I still haven't completely forgiven Gene Hackman for refusing to shave his head for Superman. So when I heard Samuel L. Jackson was walking away from the role of Nick Fury because he wanted more money, my thought was this: screw him, lets move on. Jackson was quoted as saying: “I would love to do it. I’m not sure that they would love for me to do it. It seems as though they’re having money problems," and “they’re caught up in the economic crisis also. Iron Man 1 didn’t make much money, so they can’t afford to pay the rest of us anymore.” Frack. You. You are either a colossal snob, an incredible idiot, or both. Iron Man made over $582 million worldwide. If they can't afford you, then you've got to be the most greedy dick on the planet.

What the hell happened, Sam? You used to be cool. Crap, only two months ago you were cool. You practically held the record for never turning down a role. Seriously man, you were in The Spirit, you'd do anything! Now your gonna turn down Iron Man 2 because you want more money? Dude, the money you'd make off of your rep alone after being in that movie would be more than they could ever pay you. You want to be remembered? You want true cinematic immortality? Just a guest role in a series like Iron Man, one that will doubtless be remembered as this generations Terminator or RoboCop, would cement your place in history permanently. But is all you care about is money, then clearly your not as cool as we all thought you were. Maybe you never were. Are you are now is just another soulless Hollywood demagogue.

Well, now that my disillusioned rant is out of the way, it's time to move on. And by move on, I mean fruitlessly harp on my personal choice for the new Nick Fury, since obviously nothing I say will be have any effect on the film's outcome. Of course, if Hollywood execs started listening to me, I could really call myself an anarchist, could I? Anyway, it's highly unlikely that they'll simply write Nick Fury out of the movie. They might try to simply have him be an unseen character, spoken of but never actually appearing. Now I'd be really upset if they did that because I have my own horse in this a race, someone who I'd like to see even more than Sam Jackson. I'm an old school comics guy, and as much as I like the Ultimate Marvel Universe, I will always be faithful to the originals, especially Nick Fury. After all, the original's been around for 40 years, while the Ultimate version's less than a decade old. The first, cigar-chomping, blue jumpsuit-wearing, Infinity formula-laced, WWII vet Fury deserves to be in the film, and there's one guy in particular who'd be perfect for the role. No, it's not David Hasselhoff (but that'd be ridiculously cool). It's Thomas Jane. Yes, Thomas Jane.

I know, not the most obvious choice right? Besides, he already played the Punisher for Marvel, right? Well, Marvel already rebooted that franchise again (worst call since the Star Wars prequels!) so he's home free. And I no I've said this before, but the guy's a total badass. And believe it or not, I wasn't the one who came up with the idea of him playing Nick Fury. Not long after The Punisher came out, Tim Bradstreet, who had done some promotional artwork for the film, convinced Jane to pose as Nick Fury for the cover of Punisher #13. Take a look as these shots and tell me Tom Jane would not rule as the director of SHIELD.

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