Movie Review: Up

Geez, why do we even review these Pixar films anymore? There's really nothing more to say other than "Pixar's awesome". But I'll do my best. Up tells the story of Carl Fredricksen (Edward Asner), a recently widowed senior citizen who's being forced into retirement so his house can be torn down to make way for new construction. Throughout their lives, Carl and his wife Ellie (Elie Docter) had dreamed of adventure hoping to someday make their home at Paradise Falls, a famous landmark in South America that was explored by their childhood hero, Charles Muntz (Christopher Plummer). Determined to fulfill his late wife's dream before he dies, Carl, in an act of desperation, turns his house into a ramshackle airship using thousands of balloons, in order to fly to South America and land his house on Paradise Falls. He is joined on his quest by a stowaway boy scout named Russell (Jordan Nagai), a strange tropical bird dubbed Kevin, and a dog named Doug (Bob Peterson) who talks using a hi-tech collar.

The Pros: When Pixar first appeared in 1995 with its hit film Toy Story, I honestly didn't think that much of them. Sure, I was six, but still. Even today, I'm not as impressed as most by their earlier films. Sure they were all good, and just having a studio that makes consistently good films without fail is an accomplishment, but I just thought they were a bit overrated. Don't get me wrong, I love Toy Story, but 100% on Rotten Tomatoes? Seriously? A Bug's Life was good, but was still a step down after Toy Story, and Monsters Inc. didn't pick up the slack. I simply don't believe that being to first to showcase some new technology or special effect, or starting some new trend necessarily makes a movie great. It just means they were the first to do something, nothing more.

Then they released Finding Nemo, and it was all uphill from there. With the minor exception of Cars, Pixar films have been getting constantly better and better, to the point that we've all but forgotten animated children's classics like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Pinocchio, and Beauty and the Beast. In fact, the only animated feature film Pixar has yet to match, in my opinion, is Fantasia, which will forever hold the crown for best work of animation in my mind. The Incredibles remains my personal favorite of their movies, but Pixar's absolute best film is unquestionably WALL-E. And Up has not dethroned it. But it comes daaaaaammmmmn close.

Up's greatest appeal, to me at least, is the nostalgia factor. Just as WALL-E payed homage to and captured the feel of the very best 70s & 80s science fiction films, Up does the same for the classic Hollywood adventure films, such as The Wizard of Oz, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Dr. Doolittle, Around the World in 80 Days, The Time Machine, and just about any "Lost World" adventure film you can think of. The fact that they cast Christopher Plummer in the film and modeled Carl Fredricksen's appearance on Spencer Tracy in his later years only adds to the old Hollywood feel. (Pointless Trivia: The villain was actually based on Charles Mintz, a cartoon producer who stole the idea for Oswald the Lucky Rabbit from Walt Disney, forcing him to create Mickey Mouse as a replacement. Walt has his vengeance from the grave!!)

Aside from this, Pixar continues to deliver heartfelt entertainment and adventure of the highest caliber. The story, the characters, the humor, the uncontrived action, emotions, and adventure, are all near-perfect.

The Cons: I do not believe there is such a thing as a perfect film. We as human beings are far from perfect, and thus are incapable of producing anything perfect. However, you know a film is great when, whatever its flaw may be, you cannot find it. I honestly cannot think of a single thing that bothered me about this film. It is a near-flawless work of art.

The End: When I was a kid, my favorite classic children's film was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (damn you Tim Burton for bastardizing it, by the way). Up has absolutely everything that made me fall in love with that film and more: genuine emotions, memorable characters, visual creativity, and never, ever a dull moment.

Overall, I give Up a Gold Anarchy Coin.

Click here to visit the official website for Up.

Movie Review: Terminator Salvation

Sorry for how criminally late this is (where have I heard that before?) This new format takes some getting used to. Anyway, here's my review for Terminator Salvation.

RIP David Carradine

Bill is dead.

I know that sounds like a joke in extremely poor taste, but it's not meant to be. But I just can't help but think of Kill Bill at a time like this. It was probably the best film he ever did, as well as the best role he ever played. It was made for him. And considering the film's title and subject matter, I think most people are thinking along the same lines.

All references aside, David Carradine was truly one of my favorite actors. Sadly I never say his famous TV show Kung Fu (though I've been meaning to for some time). I mostly know him as the star or some of my favorite B-movies, including Death Race 2000 and Lone Wolf McQuade. So it kind of appropraite that the last film I say him in was Crank 2: High Voltage.

To me, and a lot of other people, Carradine was the definition of awesome. It wasn't just that he was a perfect fusion of Clint Eastwood and Bruce Lee. It wasn't just the fact that with is interest in Eastern philosophy, he was practically a karate cowboy in reallife. It was his voice. He had quite possibly the coolest, most recognizable voice in film history. Most people have Morgan Freeman as their favorite narrator. Not me. I had Carradine. I tuned into history channel just to see him host Wild West Tech ('course the fact that I love westerns didn't hurt). It's a great human tragedy that he didn't do more voice work. Danny Phantom became ten times the show it was just from those few episodes his guest starred in.

And with that, I leave you with, well, you all knew it was coming, right?

God bless you, David. We'll miss you.

The New and Improved Joshua the Anarchist

NOTE: If the audio quality of this video seems particularly bad at first, it is. At first. The main point of this video is that you will never have to accept quality that bad from my videos ever again, so please watch through the end, it gets better, I promise.

EDIT: The name "Rogue Reviews" has once again been changed, this time to "The Lunatic Fringe".



NOTE TO MY YOUTUBE SUBSCRIBERS: One change not mentioned in the video it that from now on I will be posting videos on youtube less and less. I will instead be uploading them onto Blip.tv and posting them here, on my blog. My youtube channel will be used primarily to post video trailers and notices as too when my reviews will be available. This change is being made for four reasons: 1) Youtube's video runningtime restrictions hinder me, 2) This way, there is less of a chance of false copyright claims, 3) The advertising revenue offered by Blip.tv will help fund my reviews, and 4) It is my long term goal to be a video reviewer on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com, and Blip.tv is their standard video format. If any of you are regular viewers of TGWTG.com, I urge you to visit their forum, where I regularly post my reviews is hopes of being recruited.

Movie Review: Star Trek (2009)

"This is not your father's Star Trek". No sh*t it's not. Here's my review for the new Star Trek film.

Part 1:

Part 2:

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Movie Review: The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Oh, come on! It's a Matthew McConaughey movie called "The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"! It can't possibly by any good, right? Wait, it can? Whoa, didn't see that one coming. It's clear from the title that this is one of many, many, many films to steal, uh, I mean borrow the plot line from the Dickens classic. So you pretty much can guess the plot, "Don't tell me: McConaughey plays some douche bag playboy womanizer who doesn't respect women and doesn't believe in love or marriage, but his still secretly loves Jennifer Garner but he won't admit it, so three ghosts of his old girlfriends show up to make him reexamine his life, right?" Yup, that's pretty much it. Throw in his brother's wedding & Jacob Marley's stand in (Michael Douglas) in the form of his dead playboy uncle and that's more or less your plot.

The Pros: Um, you know what, I think we're better off doing the cons first this time.

The Cons: What, were you expecting cinematic excellent from a McConaughey film? You are a sad, strange little man. Anyway, this movie is many things but one thing it is not is unpredictable. Not that I was expecting it to be, I mean just the title is a warning that the story is as old as...well, Dickens. But still that does not excuse it. There's nothing that says they have to follow the plot scene for scene. It would've been great to see them shake things up a little, maybe make a romantic comedy without a happy ending for once. Well, I can dream can't I? CAN'T I?!

The writing is tolerable...at least half the time. The other half makes you want to bang your head against something very hard, or shoot yourself in the head with adamantium amnesia bullets, anything to erase the memory of what you just saw. For one thing, the logic behind the whole ghost thing is flimsy at best. None of them are actually ghost because they're not actually dead. At least the Ghost of Girlfriends Present (Noureen DeWulf) isn't, not to mention it's never explained whether she actually knows she's having this out-of-body experience in her normal life. Uncle Wayne (Jacob Marley stand in) is but with the Ghost of Girlfriends Past (Emma Stone) it's unclear. And the Ghost of Girlfriends Future (Amanda Walsh), well, doesn't seem to be anyone in particular, just the White Witch's less androgynous sister who shows up to be all Angel of Death-y.

The comedy is all either cliched or just plain not funny. There's the expected Dickens jokes, all of which are poorly executed. All of the wedding comedy troupes are here, from the slutty bridesmaids, to the blunt ex-military father-in-law & divorced in-laws, to the neurotic panicky bride. There were moments of humor that were so bad that they were funny again, but still, comic gold this ain't.

But the most fundamental problem I have with this film is with Jennifer Garner's character Jenny. She's McConaughey's (named Connor in this film) primary love interest, the girl he's known and loved since childhood, you know the drill (no pun intended). But here's the problem: When we go back in time and look at Connor's childhood, we discover that it's her fault he's like this in the first place! And that's no spoiler because this revelation isn't a plot point, it's a plot hole! She blew him off for the popular guy at their middle school dance even through she knew he was literally a split-second from asking her to dance (yes they were both already pretty much in love at this point), and they broke his heart, leading him to swear off love. And this issue is never brought up or confronted again. Jenny is treated as a total innocent who only half-heartedly owns up to her role in his emotional downfall once, when in actuality she's the shallow bitch who broke his heart. Sure she was young and immature then, but as I said, she never answers for or apologizes for it once.

The Pros, again: The reason I started with the cons is very simple: this is a bad film, there's just no getting around that. And when it it comes to it's pros, there's really no artistic merit here for me to point out. But despite all this, there was something at the core of this film that keep me from hating it. It's hard to describe. I can only call it heart. It's that indefinable part of cinema that can't be proved, only felt. Either you feel it or you don't. And despite all of it's flaws, this film, to me, had heart. I still hate Jenny. I still hate Matthew McConaughey. But some how this film managed to make me care about their relationship, even if I only cared about Jenny by default because Connor did (I know I had undying crushes on girls despite their being a bitch to me, so maybe this is just wish fulfilment). Of course, it could be it's just because it's nice to see the player get his just desserts. And even I had to smile at reformed Connor chasing down his brothers fiancee to save the wedding in a convertible to the tun of Elvis's "Burning Love".

The End: I have a confession to make: I don't watch a lot of romantic comedies, at least not the more recent ones. I'm a huge fan of the classic romantic comedies of the 30s & 40s, especially those starring Cary Grant. The man practically invented the genre, and consequently almost every modern romantic comedy borrows from him is some fashion, and as a result, they never do anything for me but to remind me there's a better movie I could be watching. So believe me, I'm really picky about my romance films. And if this thing could entertain me, trust me, there's something to it. And besides, you could do much, much worse.

Overall, I give The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past a Bronze Anarchy Coin.

Click here to visit the official website for The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

Movie Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

If I sound a little incoherant in this review, it's because the film seriously pissed me off. Watch the review to find out why.